mi vida loca!: heartbroken.

well, today was the last time i got to see wall my cousins until who knows when.
it was a pretty awesome day up until the part where we had to say goodbye.

it was heart wrenching to say goodbye to the two cousins i'm closest to but, it was just as equally horrible to say goodbye to the cousins i'm not as close with.

this trip, well...it was the hardest to jump start the talking and bonding part with my family because of the fact that i can hardly speak korean and they can hardly speak english but, i know truly know what it means when people say that actions speak louder than words.

to tell you the truth, now that i think of it, most of the communication that i have ever had with my cousins here in korea were actions and that's what i think makes us have an even stronger bond.

from the first awkward meeting to the last super wild and crazy one, i know that through all that's happened, we've grown closer.

i can honestly say that this has been the saddest goodbye.
i didn't want to get into the car and leave all my family behind.
i know that everyone didn't want to express how sad they really were and i know that although we were all covering up our pain with last laughs and petty games we all were just dreading the part where we actually had to go our separate ways.
and when my aunt started to cry, it just brought forth a rush of emotion.
i know that she's been through hard times these past few months and the fact that i got to see her happy for the past few weeks has been the best.

i don't know what it's going to be like saying goodbye to my grandparents tomorrow.
i really am dreading it.
i know that i'm going to cry because only God knows when i'll see them again.

my hearts broken, it's never been this hard to leave my family.
just the fact that this is probably the last time we'll all meet and travel around as a family kills me.

i know this blog is really awkwardly written but, i just can't find the words to explain what it feels like.

the whole fam.