eh

now i know why people don't live in seattle.

unexpected

the weather is quite strange today.
i didn't know it was gonna rain!

so, i'm at home doing nothing.
absolutely nothing.
boo.

i should study soon.
boo.

watch out for heartbreakers, . all they do is take your love and leave.
i like that song by neyo.

this is lame.
boo.

horoscopes

it said it in my horoscope and it happened.

amazing day i've got to say!

well, i went to barnes and noble in the morning for some studying with the brothaaman, sadly we failed and ended up in the music section for the better part of the hour. haha.
FINALLY GOT MYSELF A FRANK SINATRA CD!

then it was off to the mall!
walked around for a bit and my cousin got all the stuff he needs and whatnot.
then we went to the shoppes for some more stuff.
and then to chipotle!
it was quite delish and i can proudly say that i am able to comfortably eat solid foods.
well, my brother got all po'ed with the people at chipotle in chino hills so he didn't eat and when we got back home he dropped everyone off and he went to go get something to eat while i accompanied him.

and so with that, we were off!
we ended up at the chipotle in walnut. haha.
but when we got there, we saw this couple that went to dbhs last year, and let's just say, ew. they always used to make out at lunch and BLEH. talk about grody. well, at least they're happy?

aftuhh, i was just sitting around at home doing nothing and katie came over later.
wow, talk about craziness.
we got super excited over just about everything and i'm pretty sure my heart rate went up like crazy at least 10934 times while she was over. especially when we were talking about THE SPOT! ahhaah. so we were all hyped up and decided to go on a walk and then finish he's just not that into you. bahha. great movie.
OH YEAH! THANKS FOR THE GIFT GUUUUUUUUUUURL. LOVE IT! WILL WEAR IT AT DISNEYLAND TOMORROW!

alysoon, if you're reading this...YOU FAIL!
answer your phone homie!

urm, so katie left and i took a shower and now i'm here?

wow, i'm in sucha great mood. it's redick.
it could be the frank sinatra cd, it could be the crazy hang out time with katie, it could be ginger, but i think it's all those combined.

oh ginger (:


p.s. I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING FUN JAM ES! STAY SAFE! LOVE YAH !

hallo urrbody!

hrm. i trust that you've all had a swell christmas?

mine was pretty swell as well if you were wondering.
heck, i don't care if you were wondering cause i was gonna tell you anyways.

yeah, not much to say today.

to lazy to describe the what nots of my day.

yah beezy yah.

yee buddy.

well, yesterday was pretty daaaarn amazing.

went to the park.
went to borders.
went to target.
went to my uber cool spot.
and did random nonsense.

then i went to bjs for some goooood food with the soccer team.

and then to hay may's house.
to bad i couldn't stay over.
i heard it was a good time.

i want apples to apples for christmas.
not the junior version, the legit version!

today pretty much sucked.
i got my wisdom tooth pulled and now all i can eat is ice cream and mashed potatoes.
this is trash.
i want good food darnit!

SO STOKED.

i'm nervous!
wish me luck!

all i can say is...

FUCK YOU.





i'm going to regret this post later when college admissions people are looking through all my crap.

and if/when that happens...

this is for you all...

hi, college admissions people.
i hope you guys are all doing swell.
i've hit a rough patch.
and i've decided to express my frustration through profanity.
adieu.

i miss my best fraand.

he's being a jerk and not responding to my texts.
either that or he hasn't gotten them.

if you're reading this...it feels like we haven't talked to each other in forever! even though it's only been like a day...

yeah.

anyways...

on to other things.

today was swell.

went to church.
gave ashlee her present.
ate some kyochon.
watched hey arnold!
went to the movies.
got ice cream after.
and now, here i am !


i forgot to make a wish on 11:11 though ):
eh.

this nonsense.

is it possible to feel like crying and smiling at the same time?

i guess that would be classified as tears of joy?

well, that's not exactly how i feel right now.

is it possible that one person can make your whole day yet totally ruin it at the same time?

i guess it is, cause that's what's happening to me right now.

is it possible to like someone so much yet hate them at the same time?

i guess it is, cause this boy is driving me crazy.

i don't know how i get myself caught up in these things.
it's killing me.
i can't focus correctly.
i always wait for his texts.
i don't think i've looked at my phone so many times in such short periods of time.

and i know it won't ever work out.
cause, you'll be leaving soon.
the hopeless romantic side of me says that everything will be fine, but the practical side of me says that nothing will ever happen.

i despise you for coming into my life.
yet i always wonder if you're thinking about me as much as i think about you.

i sound like a freak.

btdub

today was surprisingly swell.

i should sleep.
why am i blogging ahora?

must beat my score in bewjeweled.

it doesn't really feel like chirstmas.

pobre.

straight up

hello,
my name is ashley and i'd gladly appreciate if you would tell me if you're into me or not.
i don't appreciate being messed with. it's quite horrible and i can never get anything done with out thinking about you. you're sending me mixed signals and as much as i like you, i'd gladly drop you if you aren't that into me. i'm sick of these mind games and frankly, i have more important things to worry about. i'm tired of wondering whether you like me the way i like you. goodbye for now. i'll get over you.

love,
ashley.

HE

is driving me crazy.
i can't think straight.
this is ridiculous.

erm.

today was...
well today was a lot of things.

i had to wake up at 6 to get ready for my game and when we were playing, it was raining. usually i love playing in the rain, but today was most def different. it was just to early in the morning. we actually won though. first win of the season baybay! to bad it was tainted by yet another loss in the second game.

anyways, after all that nonsense, i went home and was watching the tyra show with my dad.
and he kept trying to throw popcorn in my mouth, but failed. we did have a speed round and after about 20 pieces of popcorn thrown at me, one of them actually went it. quite a victorious moment.

then bahara came over, we talked about everything and anything, and then made our way to marissa's sweet 16. it was pretty fun...
then, we left early and went to go get some in-n-out (:
good stuff.
and then we came back home and talked some more and did whatnot. then she left ):
i haven't seen her in forever and yet, when we do see each other, it seems as if nothing has changed. thank the lord for that.

nutella and pretzels.

can't stop eating it.
amazing stuff right durr.

hmm, today was decent.
just knowing that it was a friday kept me going and helped me survive.
and a couple of texts i received had me smiling like a maniac.

the day isn't completely over with so i'm just going to have to play it by ear.
let's hope we end this night off on a good note.

i'm partially convinced

that i don't need you.

most def not.

not a good day today.

i knew the cheer and happiness were gonna come to an end sometime or another.
it's prolly cause i haven't spoken to chen in a while.
i must sit next to her tomorrow for sure during issue review.
screw the rest, i roll with the best. har har, i've always wanted to say that.

literally, the best thing that has happened to me today is the magazine i got in the mail.
how sad is that.

it's not often that i'm sad.
and i pretty much only express it in these blogs, but i just am not having a good day today.
and that doesn't really happen often. if you know me, and know how i am usually, you'd say i'm a pretty happy soul right?

well, i just feel like venting right now.
cause there's just so much poop happening.
it's not like super tremendously horrible, but it sure has a way in bringing me down. most def.
i don't really feel like doing anything at the moment.
i just feel super lazy and tired.

my tummy hurts.
maybe i'm getting sick.
maybe not.

i would like to go to the library soon. i like the library. maybe someone will drop me off there tomorrow. hopefully. i just want to be out of the house for a while.

never again. truthfully.
and yet i know, it's gonna happen.

this blog prolly won't make sense to anyone reading it and it prolly won't sense to me if i ever go back and read it again.

this is trash.

SIIIIKE.

nuff said.

yes, i do realize that this is my third blog today.

IT'S RIDICULOUS

how just one text from him can totally make my day.

i can't stop smiling.
my mouth hurts.

quite interesting.

strangely i've had some pretty good days lately.

it's been quite graand.

elf and ginger baybaay.

well, i think i like elf better.
ginger seems more of a brother to me.

and seeing as i'm a girl, i'm prolly overreacting about everything anyways...
well, who knows.
it's bound to be an interesting couple of weeks...

uh, besides that, i'm trying to keep up with my grades and just keep up with the insanities of my life. it seems to be going quite alright, but sometimes i just wish i could relax.
a whole day by myself sounds quite grand right about now.

AND HOLY CRAP.
the "santa" on 103.5 pisses me off. he's so annoyingly sarcastic. and santa is obviously in the north pole making toys durr.

lateskiis for now.

frank sinatra.

he's a cool cat.

what the...why can't i type all of a sudden?

holy crap. this is so weird. it's like my fingers have a mind of their own.

anyways...i've been procrastinating like crazy.

i was supposed to start hw like 8 hours ago?

arg, my elbow hurts.

there's strawberry milk in the fridge ! yesssssssssss.

goodbye.

good for you glenn coco.

i can't stop saying that.

today was okay.
not to be all "the glass is half empty" or anything, but to tell you the truth, it kinda sucked.

IT'S CAUSE I'M ON MY PERIOD.

i'll bet you anything.

anyways, for all the guys who read this, lo siento for that all caps part.
you prolly didn't want to know that.

HAR HAR.

eh, i didn't do so hot on my math test.
english was kinda sad.
william reminded me that i needed my pw when we were almost to class so i had to speed walk to my locker.
i got yet another tardy in spanish...
i'm uber stressed cause i need to finish my page for the newspaper by tomorrow.
i think i lost my burt's bees wax >:(
and i played like crap in my game today.

yeah, everything just went horrible.

i don't know.
i'm not all that depressed about it though.
you would assume that i would be, but to tell you the truth, i'm just...not.
strange.

i have to add 90 words to my editorial too D:
poop.

i guess the good parts in my day made up for it?

yes, i realize that i totally contradicted myself like a billion times in this blog.
my chair is making farting noises.

word vomit.

shoot.

i just realized how screwed i am for my math test tomorrow.
i can't afford to fail.

and journalism is starting to consume my life.
well, not really, but i think i bit off a little bit more than i can chew this issue.

i don't like killing the ants in my bathroom sink.
i don't even know how they get there, but i always feel bad when i squish them.

once i put one in the toilet and peed on it.
i felt really bad after.

i just started my period.
it sucks.

i knew it was gonna happen today, like magic.

i have a game tomorrow.
urg.

i just don't know what to do with myself right now.

and i still have to read frankenstein .

kill meeee.

currently.

hating my laptop at the moment.

it froze on me at least 3 times today !
what madness !

i'm just trying to play a little bit of sims and WAAPAHH, it just dies.
how lame.

the past couple of days have been pretty great.

i got to spent a lot of time with all my family and such.

it sucks that my dad's still in korea though ):

i miss him, but i know he's having lot's of fun with his family so i'm happy.

I've been bumming out and eating like a beasty lately.

ate three plates during thanksgiving.

wanna know what i ate?!

turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, dokbokee. nakcheebokum, spanish rice, pork chops with potatoes, veggies, pumpkin muffin, carrot bread, pumpkin pie, udon, and ice cream.
it was the beeeest.
american food, korean food, and mexican food just mesh so well together.

but now i feel like a fat arse.

i did go running today.
i actually worked out a lot today.
i ran around my whole neighborhood, looped back around so i could walk it again with my mom, and then went for this crazy walk on this trail thaang with katie.

but then i ate leftovers and this party mix stuff when i got back home.
fail.

i love being at home.
it's fantastic.

oh! and i took a three hour nap.
that was pretty great.

well, since my laptop won't let me play the sims, i think i'm going to go watch tv.

i really want to have a movie night.
that would be quite fantastic.
with mucho food and yar.

"homegirl at the front decided to be a beezy"
HAHAH. that made me crack up.
gracias for that jam es.

and before i leave, i'd like to state what i am thankful for.

my wonderful family and friends that support me through all i do.
having a roof over my head.
being able to live comfortably.
having everything i need and most of the things i want.


thank you mother and father for working so hard to provide for our family. you guys are the most generous people i know and always find a way to help out the less fortunate. you guys always seem to surprise me throught your kind actions and i'm so thankful that God blessed me with you guys. thank you for always supporting me and being so understanding. I know i may be difficult, but you guys always find a way to deal with me. Thanks for teaching me how to be a good person and although i should appreciate you guys a lot more than i do, i'd like to let you guys know that i love you with all my heart and that you guys are the best.

to my brother...the best big brother ever, and i'm not just saying that cause you're my only brother, thanks for everything. you put up with me and do your best to try and understand my waack logic. you're always there to make me laugh until i pee and dance with me in the car. and even though i tell you i hate it, i secretly appreciate the fact that you're always looking out for me when it comes to everything. so thanks for the years of laughs and everything. i love you !

to my fam:
love you guys for always being there for me. i love my crazy family. my crazy, supportive, and hilarious family. they're the best, and even if i might not understand half of them half the time, it's all cool because actions speak louder than words.

to bahara...my first real best friend. We've been through so much and although we would seem to be the two most different people in the world, we're more or less exactly the same. this year has been tough with everything that went down and the whole moving to yorba linda thang and whatnot. it's been crazy, but i know that we'll always be best friends. we've gone through to much not to be. we owe it to ourselves. i miss you more than ever and even though we don't talk as much as we used to, i still love yah like crazy! thanks for everything and thanks for always being there for me. Through all the boy troubles and deaths, you were there and i know you always will be.

to katie and alysoon:
you guys are prolly the only ones that will read this and i'd like to say...thanks for everything besties ! i know we've said this millions of times, but i love how we can just continue from where we let off even when we haven't spoken to eachother in forever. the three of us were bound to come together and become besties sometime or another. thanks for letting me insult you and not taking it personally unlike some people (:
all the late night detective work, sleepovers, inside jokes, venting, and grubbin out has been the beeeest. hope there's more of that to come. this is awkward. bye.

jam es:
there's already a whole post dedicated to you.
har har !
love yah best frand (:



p.s. this is blog number 69
HAR HAR !

FREAKIN JAM ES

haha, i've decided that since you've finally let me discover your blog i will dedicate this post to you.

i totally got your allusion to me when you said, "i can feel in in my toes"

when i'm reading this in my head while i write, i have an accent. it's quite strange.

so, since this is about jam es, what to i say?

i shall say, ouch my head hurts and i am currently texting you right now.

did i tell you that i got a new chair for my desk?
it's pretty amazing and makes me feel like a CEO of some humongo company.

i look forward to seeing you on friday and catching up on all the things we must catch up on.
it's to bad that you can't sleepover you spoonful of lame sauce.

so let's reminisce...

i've known you for all your life.
haha, i'm 4 months older.
exactly 4 months :D

my friend sent me the powerpuff theme song.

i haven't started any of my homework yet.

anyways, back on topic...

yes, we've known each other since forever and are BEST FRAANDS.
and strangely, we didnt actually start talking a lot till like last year was it?
or this year?

hmm, no se.
thanks to texting.

uhhmazing.

i need to go check my temperature.

good bye.

arf.

i'm really craving ice cream.

and i want a big chair.

i hate the chair at my desk.

someday, i'd just like to throw it out the window and watch it get hit by a car.

just thinking about it makes me angry.

i'm a tornado of anger, my blood pressure is dangerously high right now!
HAHA.

love that quote.

there are redick amounts of things that tick me off.

OH NO PMS is coming early.

redick.

i am pretty uber tired at the moment.

i made alysoon tortilla soup and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.
i hope she feels better.

not much to say.
i really want to go to disneyland.

like really really.

take me there por favor.

this kid.

i just read through all my old blogs.

all i can say is...wow.

a lot has happened since i've started this blog.
and i mean a lot.

look, it's a double whammy blog today.
amazing.

from reading what i wrote in previous blogs, i'd like to make the observation that i'm quite the insightful one.

i made a promise that i'd sleep before 12, but that was obviously a fail.

anyways, getting back to what i was previously talking about.

i really like the word absurd.

i was right, i totally just cringe when i read some of my blogs.
i can't even bear to read them.
it just brings me back to times i'd rather not talk about.
forever forgotten.

i've come a long way in the past however many months i've used this.
goals have been achieved.
dreams have been shattered.
boys have come and go.
friends have left and been made.
i don't think that i'm a totally different person, but the things i've learned the past few months have changed me.
i'm hoping they've changed me for the better.

i should sleep.
lateski !

i laugh at you !

word vomit.

i haven't been on this baybaay in forever.

it's not that fantastic.
no one even reads it y'know?

i am actually considering the fact that i have an attention disorder.
it's really, really, really hard to concentrate at times.
and i even space out during the most intense moments.

for example...my soccer game.
i didn't even know it was possible to space out during a soccer game!
it's so intense all the time and what not.
but of course, i would find a way to space out.

well, i'm writing a bunch of articles for the paper this issue.
oh yeah, that's what i should've said.

i really like those i spy books. well, not ispy, but this other one.
i have no idea what it's called, but when i was a kid, i could spend hours looking at it.
it seemed like everything just stopped for a while. it seemed like the things that made up
the pictures were the most amazing things ever.
i miss that book. i wonder where it went.

i've been making new friends in my english class (:
i'm pretty glad about that. i may be called weird multiple times in that class, but it's so worth it.
see, i don't know the actual meaning behind that.
when you call me weird, do you not want to be my friend or do you?
well, it doesn't matter. i get my kicks.

i got a mirror in my room.
it's really cool.
it's beautiful !
it makes my room seem bigger and it's like a portal into a new world. uhhmazing.

i kinda want to try playing call of duty.
from what i've heard, it's controversially fantastic.
yes, yes, yes.

this one kid has a marshmallow shaped head.
it's quite funny.
he's a jerk, but at the same time, i can't stop talking to him.

that reminds me...i had a conversation with chen after school.
she asked me what my relationship with this one kid in her class was and to tell you the truth, the things i said kind of shocked me.
i mean, i talk to this kid, and i love talking to him, trust me...i do, but he doesn't seem so fond of me.
well, i don't think he dislikes me, but at the same i hate putting commas before the "but" it's so annoying.
as i was saying, i don't think he dislikes me, but at the same time i don't think he likes me.
you know what i'm saying?
and yet, i always try to conversate with him.
even when i tell myself not to and that he'll talk to me if he wants to, i can't help but talk to him! It's bizarre. and i kick myself every time i talk to him first.

ouch, my head kind of hurts.
shoot, i have to looks stuff up for journalism.

what am i doing?!

wow, i just realized that the title to this blog is very fitting.
i guess i just subconsciously knew that i'd vomit up my words like i'm doing now.

i remember when i was in 6th grade, mr. black told us to memorize the keyboard like our house.
and when i made that reindeer thing on paint and that one kid told me he liked it.
yeah, i didn't say anything, but he kept insisting that i do.
JERK.

hm, bacon sounds good.

goodbye.
i must get cracking.
is goodnight one word or two?
good night?
goodnight?
ehh, does it really matter?

hello epicness.

i'm pretty stoked for tomorrow and the rest of the weekend.

it's gonna be pretty epic.

dslfafhdsaoi.

i don't even know.

i just had a baking frenzy.

it was quite fun?

i made pudding too.

i just got a random call asking where my brother was.

creepy?

indeed it was.

bears.

i like bears.

they're quite good looking animals.

i wish i could have a pet bear.

he'd be my best friend.

i wonder how i'd take him on a walk.

on a leash?

or would we walk hand in hand?



BLEEDING MOLE.
HAHAHA.

i've always wanted to

make an eraser out of eraser shavings.

DFL.

oh ruubz.

DFL.

spitting on concrete is not attractive.

yes.

today was a good day.

i feel really HYPER.

i love shannon rauls.

she is my favorite white girl.

she totally made my day yesterday.

love her to death.





I WANT TO CARVE PUMPKINS !

spitting on concrete is not attractive.

halloween.

the more i say it, the weirder it sounds.

i got to meet all of bahara's new friends. they're pretty cool people. and ridiculously nice. I feel a lot better knowing that she's going to a new school where she has met a lot of really nice friends.

not much to say.

i am absolutely obsessed with reading the blogs on mentalfloss and how stuff works.

it's been pretty tough lately.
i hope things get better.

but ima trooper ! so i'll get by.

it's pretty strange how this year has turned out.
it has most definitely been a horrible year.

it all started off with ollie dying.
and has just gone downhill from there.

i really hope that 2010 will be better.

i know that people have it worse but, all the things that have gone wrong really have a way of bringing me down.

i know i complain a lot but, who doesn't?

i'd like to believe that i'm an optimistic person and a happy soul but, sometimes it's really hard.

i don't really have a passion for things that i used to love and it may be that it's a time for change but, i could be wrong. maybe i just need some inspiration.

it scares me.

what if i never find that inspiration? what if things never start going my way?

things have been quite...what's the word...dull and dreary.

i know a lot of people who have been having turdly times lately.
i hate how everyone seems to be depressed lately.
and i to not add to that hot mess, we should be more optimistic.
everyone needs a break.
i think i wanna plan a party.

smiley face stickers and pep talks

i've had countless pep talks from my daddy this week.

it's been quite strange to tell you the truth.

i'm not really one to complain about life because it's always been fairly terrific but, i don't really know nowadays.

it feels like i've never really gotten to just have fun for so long.

i've always had to worry about soccer in the back of my mind and to tell you the truth, it's getting quite frustrating.

The competition that's involed with it just gets to me sometimes. I'm not even that much of a competitive person!

I'm not one for competing, i'd much rather mellow out and relax.

Who knows what's going to happen.

All i know is that a lot of change is going to happen soon.

I can feel it.

I haven't been so unhappy since last time this happened to me.

at least i know my family and friends are there for me.

AND.

certain people are just so full of it.

i hate these people.

uh,

i have so much to do.

and i know i have a lot to do but, i dont do any of it.

i'm getting really lazy these i think there was a bug on my leg.

but yeah, i'm getting really lazy these days.

i wanna go all out this holiday season and decorate my house !

and i wanna have a halloween partay.

zen out.

i guess some people were just born crazy.

yesterday was fuuun.

got to catch up with all the friends i haven't spoken to in a while.

i'm really up for some chicken nuggets right now.

i eat a lot.

i hate ap book reports.

i kinda wanna shank some people right now.

specifically two.

maybe even three.

i think it's a lot easier to read when blogs are spaced out like this.

uhh, yes.

thank you father for making me realize that i do not have to play soccer anymore if i do not want to.

you're the best.

i think i might actually contemplate this thought.

i get distracted way to easily.

i wonder what i'm going to wear to school tomorrow.

oh ruubz, my life is a mess.

EFF YOU

SCHOOL.

hmm...

look at me trying to make this blog all fancy schmancy.
well, today was okay besides the fact that i pretty much failed my math quiz -_-
how lame.
oh, and the fact that i might have practice on friday.
which is minimum day !
what turdly people to consider this nonsense.
my neighbors dogs were socializing with each other and one of them is out to get me.
i tried giving it a treat and it almost bit my hand off !
i'm pretty proud that i finished my APBR without pulling an all nighter.
uhh, i can't really complain about anything at the moment.
oh, my mom sent me a text message from barcelona(:

I AM SO STOKED FOR KNOTT'S SCARY FARM.
yes.
i thought i'd just throw that out there.
oh ferret, you darn child.
have you changed your hair?
i'm not so sure but, if you haven't ruuubz will be quite upset.

well...

i had the shittiest morning...

and after all the crying and thrashing around i've promised myself that i will no longer cry over the stupid things in life.
there's not enough time for that shit.

well, the rest of the day has been whatever...
i'm home alone and i've been pretty occupied.
i did have a moment where i really wanted to talk to someone but, i'm good now (:
i had a pretty intense convo with my cousin about charlie bone and endowments. yeahh...
and well, all i've done for the remainder of my afternoon alone is sing along with people on tv and make stuffing.
i just made some stuffing and i am now doing those itunes shuffle quiz things. they're pretty nifty.
and i can't stop listening to that song trouble by nevershoutnever!
i should be doing my homework but, i'm not really in the mood to at the moment.
uhh. oh! i wrote another letter for myself to open later.
i'm really looking forward to forgetting what i say and then one day finding what i said and being like, "whoa!" and yeahh.

well, i just can't wait till this weekend is over.
tomorrow is gonna be hell.
hopefully not.

well, surprisingly i'm not in to bad of a mood considering what happened today.
i'm really good at cheering myself up, bahah.
i guess i don't have to worry about slipping into terminal depression. HHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH. inside joke. with myself. bhaha.
see. i'm hilarious.

i've decided.

that i don't care.

i just burst out into that one song from 2NE1 after i said that -_-

i need story ideas for the paper !

my life is

in a frenzy and i'm just the one looking in from a distance.

poor you.

remember...i love you !

cock a doodle do.

went to bahara's HUUGE house for the first time on friday.
we had the beeest time ever.
we watched tv and movies in her media room, swam and durkaaed into the pool, ate at mama lucco's, talked, and ate junk food to our heart's content.

i haven't seen her in forever and i was kinda nervous but, hey! things never get awkward when we're together and i hope it stays that way.
i can't believe she's not going to DB this year ):

it still hasn't really kicked in yet but, i know we'll still stay close.

anyways, the day after, we went to the shoppes and ate crap loads of food once more.
chipotle. jamba juice. cherry on top.
that actually doesn't sound like that much but, it was.

then sadly, when we were all half dead and falling asleep, she had to go home ):

best friend ever, and it's gonna stay that way.

COCK A DOODLE DOO.
and that's your wake up call.
HAHAH.
good times, good times.

heartbroken.

well, today was the last time i got to see wall my cousins until who knows when.
it was a pretty awesome day up until the part where we had to say goodbye.

it was heart wrenching to say goodbye to the two cousins i'm closest to but, it was just as equally horrible to say goodbye to the cousins i'm not as close with.

this trip, well...it was the hardest to jump start the talking and bonding part with my family because of the fact that i can hardly speak korean and they can hardly speak english but, i know truly know what it means when people say that actions speak louder than words.

to tell you the truth, now that i think of it, most of the communication that i have ever had with my cousins here in korea were actions and that's what i think makes us have an even stronger bond.

from the first awkward meeting to the last super wild and crazy one, i know that through all that's happened, we've grown closer.

i can honestly say that this has been the saddest goodbye.
i didn't want to get into the car and leave all my family behind.
i know that everyone didn't want to express how sad they really were and i know that although we were all covering up our pain with last laughs and petty games we all were just dreading the part where we actually had to go our separate ways.
and when my aunt started to cry, it just brought forth a rush of emotion.
i know that she's been through hard times these past few months and the fact that i got to see her happy for the past few weeks has been the best.

i don't know what it's going to be like saying goodbye to my grandparents tomorrow.
i really am dreading it.
i know that i'm going to cry because only God knows when i'll see them again.

my hearts broken, it's never been this hard to leave my family.
just the fact that this is probably the last time we'll all meet and travel around as a family kills me.

i know this blog is really awkwardly written but, i just can't find the words to explain what it feels like.

the whole fam.
my cousins and grandparents.
rafting down the tiniest stream with the two cousins i'm closest to.
ready to go river rafting down an actual river.
my great grams is adorable.
have you ever seen such an adorable pair of grandparents?!

so.

i'm really dreading school starting.
it's gonna suck.

never really dug school.

well, today was quite uneventful like most.

i got back from the jeju islands yesterday and well that trip kinda sucked.
talk about being po'ed for most of the trip.
i blame that one on pms though.

well, there's not much going on.
yes.

i can't help but feel

a tad dissapointed.
not gonna lie.

anyways...
i went to a shop called high tracks today. it was pretty much the coolest place ever. it was like a fred flares kinda thing. and i got this one thing that i'm saving for this one person. it's pretty uber cool. it was pretty flippin hot though. surprisingly i wasn't sweating like a beast though.

i still feel a bit dissapointed.
it's quite stupid actually.
stupid heifen gay wad butt face brain of mine.
it needs to learn how to shut off.

i miss home but, i also don't want to go back.
i think things are gonna be different.
i just hope everything plays out well.

not looking forward to school starting.
summer seemed so short.
eff you summer school.

this is quite unnerving.
i dont even know if i spelled that right.

i don't know what to do but, i do know that it's a long way down...

disconnected.

from the world.

i haven't talked to someone that can speak english (besides my family) in the longest time.

having the time of my life here but, i'm to worried about how hard it's gonna be to get back into shape that it kinda sucks.

not much to say.

WAIT !
i lied.

i did take some uber cool pictures!
and my grams said she'd buy me a uber cool camera.
so it's all goooooood.
the condition was that i had to drink a glass of tomato jucie (nastaaay) and obviously i did, so yeap.
nikon d6o, be mine.

holy crapper.

i am so out of shape.

all i've been doing is eating -_-

my grandparents do not know when to stop feeding me.

the food is good though...i gotta give them that one.

anyways, saw my great grandma and my great aunt yesterday and today.

my great grams is the cutest little lady you'll ever meet. no joke.

sucks that i won't be able to see her till whenever i come back to korea.

well, tomorrow i'm going up to the mountains for a couple of days with my whole family, that should be fuuuuuhn.

it's uber hot here, i sweat even when i'm on the computer just typing -_-

LAMESAUCE.

koreaaaaaaa

i love it here.
it's pretty humid though.

so ehh, not much to write.

love my grams and gramps.
and the rest of my fam.

gonna enjoy these three weeks like nooo othaaa.

see yahh.

steubenville.

was the most inspiring thing ever.

i've never felt so close to God.
i've never prayed so much in my life.
i've never praised so loudly.
i've never danced so freely.
i've never become open so suddenly.
i've never laughed so happily.
i've never cried so unexpectedly.
i've never been so touched.
i've never felt so at peace.

thank you Jesus for everything.
thank you so much for that wonderful experience.

i've felt things i could never describe because of you.
so thank you.
thank you for everything.


i wish i didn't have to leave so soon.
i honestly have never seen so many people praising Jesus at the same time.
i was kind of nervous at first but, i've met so many people and gotten closer to so many more.
praising was the most fun thing ever and adoration was the most awe inspiring.
i can't wait to go back next year.
i've been inspired to become a better person and to become closer to the lord.

lately

i've seem to become more ambitious.

i think for once in my life, i actually know what i want to do for a living.

yeah, i'll admit that my dream job is quite far fetched but, i'm going to do everything possible to make it come true.

you're never to young to start, and after years of debating and being left in the dust while everyone around me knew exactly what they were gonna do, i too can finally start to achieve my goals.

SUCKKA SUCKKA FSSSSSSSSSSH BABAAY.

this is kinda funny, and i'm gonna have to laugh cause if you see the situation for what it is, it's just plain stupidity.
so if you wanna keep this up, with all the indirect insults and whatnot, you go for it.
i'm done with this shi shi, i've got bigger and better things to worry about.
so that's my peace offering to you, take it or leave it.

it's my blog

AND I CAN WRITE WHAT I WANT TO.

HATER.

i would like for everyone to stop putting words in my mouth.

what the heck do people know about me that i don't ?!

uhm, obviously nothing because i'm me and i should know what's going around in my head don't you think?

do they really think that they can tell how i'm feeling especially when they're not standing in front of me looking straight at my face?!

yeah, they couldn't because they're not psychic.

and if they have a camera following me...CREEPER.

ugh, i just can't get over the stupidness of the stupid stupid shitoke mushroom face.

and yeah, i've heard the warnings i've seen the warnings, and yet i didn't do anything about it.
WHY? cause i'm stupid.
i should've listened.

such stoopig people.

think they're so smart and think they know everything.

well, they obviously dont, because then they would rule the world.

so frustrating.

and very annoying.



11:11 comes around and i wish for the same thing every time.
the wish fairy is a hater.

what the

HEIFER.

i feel weird.

i'm paranoid !

ahah, no that was from a yonas grothers song.

i feel pretty strange though.

in a werid indescribable way.

which is not cool because i don't like this feeling.

it's nothing to do with anything.

i wanna become famous.

ima work on that right nowwwww.

i have to

PEE.

but before i do, i thought i'd update my blog !

so this weekend was really fun.

went to kern county with my fam.

it was mother heifen hot up there but, it was awesome nonetheless.

I CAUGHT 3 FISH!

it was quite exhilarating.

and the river was right behind my cabin thing so i got to swim a little but.

BEACH BODY BABAAAAAAAY.

not really but, close enough. haha.

(:<3

whoa.

hello sickness.

and vast amounts of snot that come with it.

funny word

HAHA.
that one girl is stoopig.
this is dedicated to her.

today i feel

with picnik and flikr.
go check out my pictures!
they're pretty spiffy.

click here !

i think

that i'm gonna try something new.

i think i'm going to post a picture for the way i'm feeling now.

let's start today with today.

pretty spiffy picture eh?
well, i though it was cool.

HEY !

everyone who's actually reading this !

so...it's summer and tonight's gonna be a good night.

HAHA. that last parts from a song.

so anyways...there's not really much to talk about i guess?

yesterday my brothers girlfraaaaand came over for dinner, that was sufficiently awkward.

well, at first but, it was whatever after.

we ate for like an hour and then talked for like an hour -_-

yeah, longest dinner ever.

yesterday night i was really really hungry cause i hardly ate at dinner and guess what i ate!?

cold potatoes.
goldfish.
strawberries.
and i had like three bottles of water.

wow, this is kinda boring.
i'm boring myself so i wonder how bored all of you who are reading it are.


I NEED TO GET A GIFT FOR MY DAAAAAD.
father's day is coming up soon y'know?
i think we're getting a flat screen tv.
hmm...who knows.

so know i am sufficiently bored, so i will stop now.
i like the word sufficiently.

shi shi, summer soccer is starting monday.
KILL ME.

everything

kinda sucks in a good way?

friends - ughhhhhhhh. need to sort that all out. hopefully tomorrow is good.
family - we have our moments but, everythings pretty good.
beach body - working on it.
soccer - deciding if i should miss the tournament or stuebenville. (sp?)
summer school - suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks and is way to long.
pants cubed - ehh. i dont even know. i like him but, i don't know. twinsie could've been right but, i really hope not. he's a good guy but, he's also...i don't know. that's a lot of i don't knows. and i'll prolly be saying it a couple more times in this weird paragraph thing. He's just confusing me...and i'm pretty sure if i ever told him, which i would never do, he'd be like, "wtf" and give me the weird look and it'd be really awkward. NOT COOOOL. so as of now, i don't know if it's even worth it to like him y'know?

And alysoon, if you're reading this...i know what you're saying in your head, or maybe out loud.

okay. well, everything kinda sucks in a sucky way but, its cool.
i'm not terminally depressed or anything <--HAHAH, inside joke with myself...-_-

so i guess everything will turn out okay.
or at least i hope it will.

so

now what?

i hate summer school.

a lot.

it's so long and boring.

that's what she said.

HAHA!

i'm pretty confused and muy frustrated.

short blog for once.

i knew

i was being stupid.

this always happens to me.

i like

blogging.

it's actually quite amusing don't you think?

it reminds me of a letter to myself.

i can complain and eww wtf...there was a drop of water on my finger and it looked like a wart.

anyways...you can complain and eww planters warts or whatever they're called.
so nasty.
they have like seeds in them and they like spread and literally plant on whatever and grow.
i wonder if they landed in grass warts would start popping up from the ground.
that would be pretty siiick.


ANYWAYS...you can complain and vent and not read the blog for a long time and then one day you can be like, "oh, i feel like reading my blogs again." and you read them and you prolly feel a wide range of emotions while rereading.

i think if i reread my blogs i'll feel quite lame and be like..."what the heck was i thinking?" or "i used to be so funny, what happened?"

something along those lines.

i babysat my cousins today...
all five by myself -_-

and i went to relay for life !
it was pretty fun.
walked a lot with bahara and got to catch up with chris.

i'm drinking ridiculous amounts of water at the moment.

i peed like five times today.

pretty crazy stuff.

i don't really have anything to talk about...

i hate summer school and i'm dreading it.

UGHHHH.

it's weird how i can vent but, not like completely cause some of things i'd prolly say would be to what the heck.

yeah.

don't drink !
it ruins your liver !

kay.
bye.

maybe i wanna

do what bunnies do with you if you know what i mean.

that's a funny line.

my doors open and i feel the breeze coming in.

and baby how we spoon like no one else.
HAHA.

that's another funny line.

so...i've done a lot this week.
surprisingly.


and weirdly...i'm still bored.

just constantly bored.
i talked to bahara for three hours which was quite amusing...
we talked through my washing the dishes.
we talked while i peed.
we talked while she was looking at ghetto fish pants.
we talked as i played balloono.
we talked as she brushed her teeth.
we talked while i played the uke.
we talked as she was falling asleep.
and then we finally hung up.

but now...i'm bored !

i feel strange.
i have a weird feeling in my stomach.
it's not cool.

it makes me worry.
no, i'm not talking about me dying of random disease but, its a weird feel that goes with confusion and other stuff.


i must go on that trail and sit under the storybook tree.

my blog things have been abnormally long lately.
oh well, no one reads them anyways.

truthfully, it's like i'm talking to myself which is kinda pathetic.

i went to la fitness today with alysoon and we saw man voice :D

AND after working out...we ate in-n-out -_-
it was really good though.

Mmmm.
delish.


i kinda wanna go to the taco COLDSTONE .
i just changed thoughts in the middle of a sentence.
pretty nifty eh?

NIFTY FIFTIES.
HAHA.
that was quite amusing.


i don't understand why people get so angry sometimes.
i don't like angry people, they're so...what's that word...angry?
great vocabulary.

i do have my little spurts of anger though.
gotta admit.
they don't last very long.
and most times they're uber stupid.

uber is a cool word.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. i wanna scream.
i scream for ice cream.
well, you see...that little AHHHHH was actually a spurt of anger.
i'm over it.
just kidding.
i'm not.
i'm thinking about it and that person is pissing me off.

anyways...
i yawned.

i tink ima go watch up tomorrow and then go to the shoppes?
hopefully.
AND THEN EAT SUSHIIIIIIIIIII.

i love sushi.
especially the crunchy rolls.
Mmmm.

i really want to try one of those mccafe things.
those look tasty.
and refreshing like AH.
that wasn't an angry AH
that was a refreshed AH

I think i could amuse myself by typing all day long but, that would make me a tad odd so i dont tink i will.

and i do have a life after all!

i really want to go to the ducky park.
no joke.

UGHHHHHHHH. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid.

it must be the estrogen.

it's only 10:30pm

i want agua.

i really like that song gravity by sara bafjsdalfj however you spell it.

i watched toy story one and two the other day.

the song gravity reminds me of the end credits of a disney movie.
it gives me a weird nostolgic feeling.
nostolgia makes me feel sad in a way but, happy in others.
i guess it just depends.


PRINCE CHARMING...I'M HERE.

i just imagine me putting a sign leading to my house on the pole thing with my street name on it.
funny thought.
HAH.
see i laughed.
i must be funny.

I AM

RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY !


made the team...


nuff said.

to tell you the truth

i'm kinda bored out of my mind.

there's a piece of oatmeal bar that's stuck in my laptop keyboard and it's bugging me.
i lied.
it's not bugging me but, it's there.

anyways...
my brother bought me some sweeeeet sandals from target for my birfday (:

isn't this thing supposed to be like a thing of stuff?
that made sense in my head.

well, summers been pretty good so far...
my arm hurts though.
i got blood drawn.
it hurt!

OH ! and they made me pee in a cup but, i didnt really have to pee so when i actually did, most of the pee missed the cup and went into the toilet -_-
and i ended up peeing on my hand.
gross.

i made pizza today.
lakers lost today.
i'm really thirsty today.

i miss my friends.
the only downside of summer vaca is that you don't get to see your friends everyday.


PANTS CUBED.
i think i have maybe found him.
i've made a pros and cons list.

pros
-it's really easy to talk to him
-he's funny
- i can be myself around him

cons
- he can be moody
- he seems to be a flirt
- he's questionable sometimes.

that was a really lame list.

now that i think of it...i don't think i should like him.
for various reasons.
not only the ones in my pros and cons list but, for reasons apart from that.

i remember he said this one thing about not diggin this thing and stuff like that.
at the time i was just like whatevvs but, now its kinda like...yeah.

he prolly doesn't even feel the same.
eww. that's such a cliche line.

but true.

who knows.


i just hate people in general.

HAHA.
that sounded so depressing.


maybe i'll go on a walk tomorrow.
some solitary confinement.
i like the idea of that.

i should wake up early then...

i hate the thought of having to do something.
i absoulutely love having no expectations and just being praised for whateve i spit out whenever i want to.

the feeling is...great.

this weather sucks.
it's not summer weather.
it's lame wtf weather.

i wish there was a park with swings by me.
i like swings.
they're uber cool.
and it makes you feel like your flying.


i wanna learn how to play the uke right now.
i think that's what i'm gonna do.

AHHHHHHH.
THE SONG.
THIS SONG.
yes.

fuhhn.

so far summer vaca had been pretty great !

my birfday, and katie and alysooon slept over, and then hometown buffet and the shoppes with alysoon, katie, and gina !


TODAY I SPENT 5 HOURS CLEANING MY ROOM.
and i just realized that i'm not done yet ):
i still have to clean under my bed -_-

nasty.

i think I inhaled uber amounts of dust and i will probably die soon.

i have to get blood drawn tomorrow.
gross.
to think i used to like stuff like that -_-

ouch. my tummy hurts.
i've been eating to much lately.


apparently i have soccer try outs tomorrow ?
shoot.
i hope i make the team.
i'm super nervous.

THE SIMS 3 is not working on my laptop.
that frustrates me.

anyways.
ima go sleeeeeeeep.

i think i found pants cubed?

summer

it doesn't really feel like summer.

well, yesterday was my birfday and it was uber fun.

thanks everyone who came!

i love my friends.

and to alysoooon and katie...
i love you guys! you guys are the best and we must keep on with the investigation !
oh...and thanks for drawing half a 'stache on me -_-
i had to scrub it off before i could go to the orthodontist.
and it hurt.

ann...
best card ever! seriously! and the awesome hello kitty ring!?!
yessss. it was pretty sweeeeet.
and the deep and meaningful message thing.
it was an. "awww" moment.


creeper...
thanks for the spiffy card and the uke.
the card must've taken you hours to do!
thanks for everything homes.


i'm hungry.

today was boring.

and my back hurts.

can't describe

how i feel.

everything sucks lately.

like everything.

i've hit a tree.

haha. tree.

that wasn't even funny.

everything happens for a reason though right?

i hate sounding all depressed.
it's stupid.

i have the worst luck.

i really do.

it could be worse though, i guess.

at least school shi is almost over...

i guess i should smile and bear it.







liar. everyone's a fucking liar and a douche.
they think i'm stupid and don't see through it?
morons.

breath and fake it.
it'll be over soon.
hopefully.


that was quite poetic and depressing dont cha think?
i hate sounding like this cause i always make fun of myself after for being a turd and feel even worse -_-